Bryan Pendleton: Lights theory

OK, so where do I go for a basic introduction to the theory and practice of Christmas tree lights?

In particular, where can I find a self-help guide that covers topics such as:

• When part, but not all, of a string isn't staying lit, what is causing that? How can I find and replace the one piece which is causing the problem?


• When one or more lights in the string flash, when they are supposed to stay lit steadily, or stay lit steadily, when they are supposed to flash, what is causing that, and how can I find and replace the one piece which is causing the problem?


• What configurations prolong or, conversely, reduce the life of the string of lights? Does connecting strings in certain orders end-to-end change their behavior? Why is that?

Surely there must be some resource that saves me from futilely manipulating the unlit bulbs for 15 minutes, then giving up in despair and switching to another string...